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New holes, Not just fluff

I have been gun shy with accusing any physical problems of being caused by MS. Ever since the whole neck thing, I decided that if I could walk, talk, see, and move all my pieces then I must not be having any symptoms. However, there have been things that have been bothering me. But I have shrugged these things off as being a symptom of fatigue and stress. Not that I have a lot of stress, but I have been ridiculously tired. My biggest problem is also the reason that I haven’t written in a while. There is some kind of disconnect between my brain and my fingers when I try to type. I keep hitting wrong keys, or missing keys all together, or just completely forgetting why I was bothering in the first place. In the beginning I was blaming it on my nails being too long, then I decided that I was just too tired, but it’s nice to know that now I know the real reason. There actually IS a disconnect between my fingers and my brain. It is the product of one of my new holes. There are 3. One had something to do with memory. I think that is still ok. One has something to do with thinking while using your hands. I don’t really understand why, but it is very frustrating. My fingers get very tired and heavy and don’t always move in the direction that I tell them to. Which makes it take significantly longer to type anything. When I am really tired, I don’t even have to be using my hands and it feels like I have a heavy bracelet on and can’t lift them. The strangest part though is that I CAN move them. It doesn’t actually stop any motion. It just feels like it would be impossible to try, then I lift my hand and am shocked that it doesn’t weigh a thousand pounds. The other hole had something to do with my legs, but I passed all of those tests so they must be fine too. I like to think that the reason I am not experiencing all of the symptoms that I could be is because I have been taking the cinnamon, the vitamin D, and a regular vitamin every day. I don’t really know if those are doing anything, but I like to think that it is helping.

I am all set up for my first Tysabri infusion. It’s next Tuesday. Unfortunately I have to pull my little one out of school in order to go. I feel like the worst mother in the world. Of course he doesn’t care, and he is only in pre-school, but I hate having to affect his life with my crap. I will make sure that the rest of my infusions are set up at a convenient time, but this one was very rushed. I think that if my doctor could have done the infusion at my appointment yesterday he would have. I was disappointed when they told me that it would take 3 months for me to notice the effects of the new drug though. I was hoping for instant gratification, like a little kid, I wanted my present NOW. The doc suggested PT for my hands. I actually have a sister-in-law who is a couple months from finishing school for PT, so I am going to ask for her help. The doc agreed to this, but only for the first month. He said that if it wasn’t working that he wanted me to go to someone that he suggests. So we will see how that goes. I haven’t been in the best standing with any of my (or Rich’s) family recently. Asking for a favor might not be the best idea. 😦 But if I can not spend thousands for PT right now, I would really appreciate it.

Keeping my fingers crossed for Tuesday.

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Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Life with MS

 

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