Can I be a runner?


“It’s not a field of dreams.”
Author unknown.

I have recently had the crazy idea that I could become a runner. HaHaHa! 

Ok stop laughing.

Was that just me?

Or was that my MS?

Oh it was my MS! I downloaded the C25K app like 2 months ago. Of course I didn’t start doing it until this Monday. 

Monday was very rough and discouraging. It started out ok. The first week is a 5 minute warm up walk then 20 minutes of alternating between 60 seconds of running and 90 seconds of walking. Then a 5 minute walk/cool down. Well 10 minutes into the run/walk my left foot started dragging on the floor. Not good grasshopper! So I started adjusting how I was running. I picked my legs up high enough that there was no scraping, I don’t want to fall after all. Then using my knee, I threw my leg forward and tried not to fret about the fact that I was now running flat footed. Shin splints here I come. After 5 more minutes of this I decided that it was time to keep it to a walk. I ended my first day 10 minutes early. So I didn’t even mark it as done on the app.

I’m now thinking a 5k is never going to happen. 😦 How am I going to make it 3+ miles if I can’t even make it 20 minutes of walk/running? 😦

However, I am not one to give up. I figured that if I run with someone who will push me, mentally, not physically, then I might be able to do this. I just need to train different muscles. Fine. I’m just starting anyway. I’ve got this!

So, Wednesday I did day one again, but with my mom. She’s much more athletic than I am and such a huge moral support for me. Love her! 

Now I’m not thinking about the 5k that I want to run in March. I’m just thinking that I want to finish day one! While running I kept thinking about that young high school girl with MS. The track star that ran despite the fact that half way through she couldn’t feel her legs anymore and at the finish line had to fall into her coaches arms. I’m using her as my inspiration. 

Find her story here.

That plus my mom got me through it. I did much better. Knowing from the get go that my MS was going to be a problem helped too. On Monday it was a sad surprise. Wednesday I was armed with how to deal with it. So I managed to have no scrapping feet and I made it the full 30 minutes. Yeah!

Today was the real test. The real “Can I do this?”. I was running on my own. Completing day two of my own volition. No one egging me on. No one holding me accountable. Can I do this? Well the answer to that question is Yes! Yes I can! Granted I have only completed 2 days of this and I have a long way to go. Now I am feeling like it’s possible though. The running through knee high wet sand feeling is going away. I have learned how to not drag my feet. Hell, if I can keep working on these muscles maybe I’ll find a way to get back to heel to toe running again. I’m feeling empowered.

My new thought is that people who run outside must be some of the happiest people in the world. I enjoyed running through the park today. I’m always happier when I’m outside. It’s so easy to forget about the rest of the world. And today running went much better. I am actually looking forward to tomorrow’s run. 🙂


Posted by on January 8, 2016 in Life with MS


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Looking For Alaska by: John Green

Review of:

Looking For Alaska


John Green

My review is 2 out of 5.

Why did you pick this book up?

I was made aware that one of the schools in my area was trying to ban this book. Apparently it was inappropriate due to sexual content. Come on! Who wouldn’t run out and read it now? That’s the problem with trying to ban books. It just makes them more desirable. Especially to teens. After reading this I would have to agree that I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my 13 year old boy reading it. It’s not that bad. I’m just a prude and when he learns how things like “blow jobs” happen, I don’t want to know. As his mom I hope that it doesn’t happen until college. But I am not ignorant enough to believe this. I just don’t want to know. However, there are no worries. My son wouldn’t pick this book up in a million years. There are no spies, guns, or fight scenes and there isn’t even a hint at humor.

Does this book keep you engaged?

No. This book is very slow. It took me forever to finish reading it because there was always something better to do than pick it back up.

Did you enjoy the tenor in which this book was written?

No. The tenor in which this book is written kept reminding me of “The Outsiders” by S. E. Hinton. It was depressing. While the ending is supposed to make you feel like there is hope in the future, this book had the opposite effect on my disposition. And that’s before the tragedy.

That said; this book was written very intelligently. I’m not even sure that a lot of middle-schoolers would have been able to follow some of the language that Green used. They would certainly have learned something though. Other than the afore mentioned questionable pieces.

Were the characters and the setting believable within the story line?

Yes. The whole story was entirely believable. Nothing crazy happened. Kids do crazy things. The only thing that I can’t imagine to be realistic is the Eagle. There is no way that that man did not see all of the smoking and drinking that was going on. Also, humanity is not that good. There is no way that in an entire school there is not one person that would rat out another for their own personal gain.

Would you read this book again?

No. I’m pretty sure that this is going to be one of the ones I bring to a used book store and try my luck with another unknown.


Posted by on January 5, 2016 in Books


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Colors and Detail oh my!

I have failed at my 30 day writing challenge. 

Things got a little intense here in my town. I let small people’s opinions of me matter. There has been great growth and valuable lessons learned though. When you are in a position that puts you in the public eye there is always going to be someone that will dislike what you are doing. You need to roll with this and keep doing the good that you are attempting to do.

So that said, I am going to try to pick up the writing challenge again. But first I wanted to talk about my health. It has been AWESOME! And not so awesome.

My contact. Even though there are days that I forget to put it on, I love it. I can not stress enough how it has changed my life. 

The day that I finally got my correct lens was amazing! I had no idea that so many colors exist in the world. Or that everything has so much detail.

I had lunch that day at my in-laws house. They live in the middle of the woods. I had no idea that there were so many trees! And the different shades of green! Leaves! I have never been able to see all of the different leaves! And were you aware that clouds have definition? The things that I didn’t even realize that I couldn’t see that were now right in front of me was astounding! I was just a little bit excited. 🙂

Fast forward to my vacation to Disney world a few weeks later. 3D! Oh my goodness! Have you people seen this?!? Sure I’ve been to 3D movies before. I was never impressed. I always thought that people were exaggerating seeing things fly at them. Please people. But now I can see it too! If I could have spent my whole trip just doing 3D rides over and over again I would have. The people around me must have thought that I lived under a rock. With my “can you believe this? Those things were actually flying at us! And I swear I could touch Donald! (From the middle of the theatre).” Mickey’s philharmagic and Star Tours were my favorite! And Fireworks! Did I mention Fireworks?!?

On the flip side; wearing my contact wreaks havoc with my brain. Talk about over stimulation. So the boat is back to rocking on a regular occasion. 
The last couple of months have been a lot for me. It was all of course worth it, with all of the holiday events. My body gave up on me though. The day after Christmas, after showering, I walked into my room to get something. 2 hours later I woke up. 😦 I slept for the next 3 days. 

I had my yearly MRI right before Christmas. Those results should be coming in soon. I’m sure they will say that I have no new lesions. Yet a significant amount of the old ones are active. I keep having nightmares that they are going to put me back on solumedrol. You know all I really need is some rest. Not more drugs. So I’m continuing to take advantage of my week off. Praying that by the end I can comfortably get back to work. Here’s to dreaming!

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Posted by on December 30, 2015 in Life with MS


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#5 Someplace that I have never been, but would like to live.

Entry #5I am giving up on the dates. It seems impossible to have time to write everyday.
Somewhere I have never been but would like to live.
For a short period of time, I would pick one of three very non specific places. It would either be New Zealand, Ireland, or Switzerland. Three places that I would absolutely love to visit. 

It would need it to be a place that forces me to slow down. Somewhere that I could disconnect from all of the stressful things in my life and refocus on what really matters. 

My newly found time would be spent reading, writing, and spending more time outdoors. A small village, a hut in the woods, something like that would be perfect.

There would have to be lots of chances for outdoor craziness. Hang gliding, climbing, trails, zip lines, horses, maybe some sky diving or bungee jumping. I need more adventure in my life. “I want to see Mountains again” quote from Lord of the Rings. 

Also, living in a small town for 10 years has taught me to value my anonymity. Which here I don’t have. So I’d like to live somewhere that no one knows who I am. However, still in a small town. So I guess I’ll have to leave after they all know me, since I’m not really good at flying under the radar. Or stick with the hut in the middle of the woods idea. You can’t imagine how appealing that sounds.

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Posted by on November 11, 2015 in November Writting Challenge



November 4th

November 4th:I got stuck on this one. 😕 Don’t look at a calendar. Don’t judge!

10 interesting facts about yourself

1. I find Egyptology fascinating! The stories of the people and the royalty. Their religious beliefs. The architecture, statues, and art work. It’s all so amazing! 
2. The phrase “I live in my own little world, but it’s ok, they like me here.” Is fact for me. I treat other’s the way I would like to be treated, even when they don’t deserve it. I believe that there is no such thing as a last chance. There is good in everyone and everything. You just have to be willing to look for it.
3. My right arm is permanently branded by a waffle iron. I used to work at Perkins. While walking through the kitchen one day I slipped and caught myself on a hot waffle iron. Roughly 20 years later, and possibly for the rest of my life, I have the image of a round waffle on my arm. Fun times people. Fun times.
4. I intend to become a vampire and never die. 🙂
5. If I could read every book ever written I would.
6. I could watch sappy Christmas movies all year round!
7. When I grow up I want to be Nicole Curtis from the HGTV show “Rehab Addict”. And she stole my phrase about old buildings saying “make me beautiful again!”.
8. I really want to believe in God. However, every time I start questioning everything and I realize that it doesn’t make any sense. And unfortunately it is the most taboo topic and I can’t get anyone to talk to me about it. Except the Jehovah’s Witnesses. And even they have decided that I’m a lost cause. 
9. I cry every time the Star Spangled Banned is sung. I can’t help it. I love being an American.
10. I want desperately to run away from home and live on a permanent adventure in nature. Not like Eat Pray Love. More like The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings meets Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider. 
11. (I know it says 10 but deal with it! It took me 3 days to think up things that everyone doesn’t already know about me) My biggest regret in life, which I plan to rectify, is that I didn’t finish college. This makes me feel like an unworthy human being every single day. It’s my kryptonite. 

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Posted by on November 7, 2015 in November Writting Challenge



November 3rd : First Love/First Kiss

I did not like this one. 😦 Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

November 3rd – First Love/First Kiss

I feel like answering this question is going against everything from November 1st’s entry.

So I am skipping the walk down memory lane.

What I would like to say instead is how much I love my life right now. My husband….what can I say about that infuriating wonderful man? He is my rock. Through all of the physical drama that I have had to deal with he has been there for me. I know that it has been difficult. I make nothing easy. And when there is something wrong with your significant other it feels like there is something wrong with you. Me being diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease has been very rough. I have always been the rock. Now I’m the soft squishy one that needs at least one couch day a month, sometimes two. Rich has stepped up to this challenge.

But my life is not all this disease. I am involved with quite a few fantastic things. When I need my husband, who has a very demanding job, two actually, he is always there for me. Watching the kids because I have meetings, cooking dinner, cleaning the house. I literally can count on him for anything. I have a partner in this world. A real honest to god partner. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have been able to hold on to him.

So sure there was a first love. And it was great. As all first loves when you are a teenager are. But I have a family now. I have two beautiful, smart children and a husband that would do anything for me. I don’t need to look back. I’m too busy living in the moment and enjoying what is right in front of me.

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Posted by on November 3, 2015 in November Writting Challenge


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Day 2 : Your First Memory

November 2nd – Your First Memory

This is an entry that would have to be prefaced by the fact that I have a very active imagination. You know the “I caught a fish THIS BIG” situation? Well, my memories have a tendency to become quite grandiose. Sometimes they are not even my memories. They are stories that my family has told me about me that are now emblazoned in my brain as my personally experienced memories. SO I’m not sure if this is really my memory, or a story about me, or a picture of me that I saw and gave it a story.

Possibly not real Story: 🙂

It was my first winter. I was months (don’t know how many) old. I was wearing a pink head to toe snow suite. I also had mittens and a hat on. I have no idea what they looked like. My parents had just finished shoveling the driveway, so there were giant snow piles on the sides. Someone picked me up and put me in one of these piles of snow. It was right next to the garage under the beautiful (although dormant at the time) cherry blossom tree. I remember looking up from the snow. It was just walls of snow all around me. I fit all the way into the pile. My head didn’t even peak out of the top. I had to look straight up to see anything other than snow. I have no idea what I was thinking or feeling (because like I said this was probably a picture). However, I swear that I can still see that sky at the top of the snow walls. Possibly my first adventure!

Definitely real scarred for life story:

My first day of Kindergarten. I was attending the same catholic school as my older brother and sister. The bus ride was a serious disappointment. My sister and brother were always talking about their cubbies and where they hung up their jackets and book bags. I had never been on a bus before. So here I was expecting some kind of Night Bus, Harry Potter esc (and this is before Harry Potter, I just figured it helped with the visual) situation. There would be cubbies and different sections for each grade on this bus. Talk about a disappointment when I found that it was just horrible green benches and I had to sit with my sister. I have mentioned my large imagination though right? But what scarred me for life was my outfit. Yes I’m a girl and I have girl moments. This is catholic school. I had to wear a forest green jumper with a plaid pattern in yellow and some dark color that I can’t remember, blue?. My mother bought me pink and white saddle shoes. PINK! My dress was forest green! I am still embarrassed about it. Of course it is entirely possible that she tried to talk me out of it at the store and I threw a fit ant said No I HAVE to have the PINK! Now that I’m a parent I totally see this in a new light. 🙂

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Posted by on November 2, 2015 in November Writting Challenge


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