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Category Archives: Unfortunatly it’s not always MS

Sight

20/25 20/30
Can you believe it?!?!
I get excited that I can tell there are letters. Honestly, I get excited that I can see more than just a large white square! But 20/30? That’s nuts! It’s a miracle!

Yeah, so today was my follow up visit with the eye doc. I haven’t been wearing my contact as often as I should. So I walked into this appointment not expecting much. I certainly wasn’t expecting my vision to be even better than last time. Only by 2 lines, but wow! 

The Doc said that it probably won’t get better than it is now because of the nature of the scar. To which I said, um, I went from 20/260 to 20/30. That’s a miracle. I’m good! 

Of course there are slight set backs. There is so much more visual stimulation when I have my contact in that it really wreaks havoc with my brain. I’d say it cuts my spoon supply in half. 

*If you don’t know what that means read this; Spoon Theory.”

It is still totally worth it for me to wear it though. With it in I have normal vision. I am still getting used to using my right eye. It feels very unnatural. When something comes into my field of vision on the right side it still freaks me out. Depth perception is no longer my friend. I was so used to only using my left eye, I had adjusted. But now that I’m using my right eye I can’t judge distance. Then I take my contact out and my brain keeps using my right eye and I feel like I’m blind. So mental adjustments need to be made. It takes a little while either way right now. I’m afraid that with more frequent use I’ll really have problems when I don’t have the contact in. 

But just like Tysabri this is my momentary band-aid and I’m loving it! 

Normal vision. Ha! I love it! 

 

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Not what I expected.

Today was my eye doctors appointment.
I went into this appointment planning to get the green light for my Corneal Transplant Surgery. I even said to my husband, “Wouldn’t it be great if he said he had an opening and he could squeeze me in now?” He wasn’t as thrilled with that idea as I was. His response was “You know you don’t have to have the surgery.” UHG!

Well, I get there and the doc does all of the eye exams. The vision in my right eye still sucks. Left is great though! He then proceeds to talk about all of the dangers of having the eye surgery.

-it may not work
-transplanted corneas have to be replaced every decade or so
-my body could reject it
-the virus could still come back anyway
-my eye will never be as strong as it is now after a surgery, and I’m so young
-I’ll have to be on anti-rejection meds and eye drops for the rest of my life.

Ok. All of these things I can deal with. I’ve already mentally prepared myself for them anyway. So I’m just staring at him. I guess waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because I feel like he is trying to talk me out of it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that I finally have a medical professional that isn’t like, oh yeah a Corneal Transplant is nothing.
But I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
And it does.
And I almost start crying.

He wants me to try a contact again. Apparently they came out with a new one. Something called a Scleral Lens. It is wider and sits just outside of your cornea. He thinks that this one might help and be less painful than a traditional hard lens.
I hate this idea. I want to just cut it out and be done with it! This fact is apparently obvious on my face and in my demeanor. Maybe he can tell that I could start crying at any second.
Yes, I realize now that this is an absurd reaction.
Schneider (eye doc) points out all of the reasons that it would be better to be a contact lens wearer rather than a transplant patient.
I see his reasoning. But I am still too upset to accept this.
Oh and the kicker; insurance may not cover it. In fact as far as he knows, there is a very large chance that they won’t.
I then proceed to the contact lens office to find out what kind of costs we are talking about. Well, the fitting can be anywhere from $100-$300 and the lens itself can cost upwards of $800. So we are talking a possible $1K for a god damn contact lens. That may not even work in making my eye sight better.
AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Clearly I am still frustrated.
Rich is thrilled. He found door #2.
Now if he can just find a way around paying for it. Otherwise I might win and we could just go straight for the surgery anyway.
$1K for a contact lens !
SMFH!!!!!

Right now we are running with this new plan. Well, Rich is running. I am walking very slow and dragging my feet. But I have an appointment for my contact fitting on the 23rd. And we will be talking to the insurance company about prices. I guess we will see what happens.
😦

 
 

Pain?!?

First, I was disappointed the surgery didn’t happen until like the last 5 seconds of the show.
Not that I don’t like the show anyway, but Ah the waiting!
And again, all it did is reinforce the doctors point of view. The surgery is not a big deal. It’s just an in and out procedure. Less involved then when I had my tubes tied (seared together, you know potato, po-TA-to).
So yes excuse me for thinking that cutting out part of my eye and sewing in another persons seems like a big deal to me. Jeeze!
That aside…..
For some reason the idea that I would be in pain never occurred to me. I don’t know why. Of course something like this will hurt. It’s not like the eye doesn’t feel pain.
*ok I don’t actually know that for sure and I think that I have always been secretly hoping that there are no nerve endings/pain receptors on the actual eye ball itself. (Holy run on batman) Maybe it is the skin around the eye or the brain behind it.*
But, eye pain is something that I am all too familiar with. That pain and any form of migraine/headache. Yeah those are my go to pains. So why did I feel so blindsided by this?
Ok, rant over. Some things are better to get off of your chest and then move on. I won’t let anything derail me from actually having this surgery.

 

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Tonight on TV

I can’t wait to watch Royal Pains on USA network tonight. One of the characters is having the same eye surgery that I will be having in two months.
Of course this is TV so you have to take everything with a grain of salt. But still I am very excited to see how it goes.
On last weeks episode they were weighing the prose and cons of the surgery. It may not work. The Doc said that that’s fine, we will just try again.
*thank god for good insurance*
Then they mentioned that she would have to be on anti-rejection meds for the rest of her life. My doc said that they aren’t necessary. Since there are no blood vessels in your cornea, there is nothing to reject it. I am going to have to double check with that one, but it makes sense. I can’t remember the rest. It’s a good thing that I DVRed it.
So tune in everybody. Hopefully it lays all of my fears to rest.

 

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Tonight on TV

I can’t wait to watch Royal Pains on USA network tonight. One of the characters is having the same eye surgery that I will be having in two months.
Of course this is TV so you have to take everything with a grain of salt. But still I am very excited to see how it goes.
On last weeks episode they were weighing the prose and cons of the surgery. It may not work. The Doc said that that’s fine, we will just try again.
*thank god for good insurance*
Then they mentioned that she would have to be on anti-rejection meds for the rest of her life. My doc said that they aren’t necessary. Since there are no blood vessels in your cornea, there is nothing to reject it. I am going to have to double check with that one, but it makes sense. I can’t remember the rest. It’s a good thing that I DVRed it.
So tune in everybody. Hopefully it lays all of my fears to rest.

 

Tags: , ,

Tonight on TV

I can’t wait to watch Royal Pains on USA network tonight. One of the characters is having the same eye surgery that I will be having in two months.
Of course this is TV so you have to take everything with a grain of salt. But still I am very excited to see how it goes.
On last weeks episode they were weighing the prose and cons of the surgery. It may not work. The Doc said that that’s fine, we will just try again.
*thank god for good insurance*
Then they mentioned that she would have to be on anti-rejection meds for the rest of her life. My doc said that they aren’t necessary. Since there are no blood vessels in your cornea, there is nothing to reject it. I am going to have to double check with that one, but it makes sense. I can’t remember the rest. It’s a good thing that I DVRed it.
So tune in everybody. Hopefully it lays all of my fears to rest.

 

Tags: , ,

Tonight on TV

I can’t wait to watch Royal Pains on USA network tonight. One of the characters is having the same eye surgery that I will be having in two months.
Of course this is TV so you have to take everything with a grain of salt. But still I am very excited to see how it goes.
On last weeks episode they were weighing the prose and cons of the surgery. It may not work. The Doc said that that’s fine, we will just try again.
*thank god for good insurance*
Then they mentioned that she would have to be on anti-rejection meds for the rest of her life. My doc said that they aren’t necessary. Since there are no blood vessels in your cornea, there is nothing to reject it. I am going to have to double check with that one, but it makes sense. I can’t remember the rest. It’s a good thing that I DVRed it.
So tune in everybody. Hopefully it lays all of my fears to rest.

 

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