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Loner

05 Jun

I’m sitting here in the grass at my son’s school’s ice cream social and I have come to a realization.

Sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge that we have a problem. If it can even be considered a problem. You be the judge cause I can’t decide.

Here it is:

I’m a loner.

I know, not me. How can that possibly be?

But here I am sitting on a grassy hill all by myself. And you know what? I LOVE IT!

The other parents probably look over and say to themselves, oh look at her thinking she is so important texting people. Why does everybody think that when you are on your phone? There are so many other things that I could be doing. Like writing a blog. : )

(Had to run and put out a fire. The little brats just earned themselves a trip back home)

Now I am sitting peacefully on my back deck.

I realize that the point of the ice cream social is to socialize. I probably should have been up in the court yard with all the other parents just idly chit chatting. Honestly if I didn’t already know them I might have been. I am usually the first one to make friends in a new place. But I know these people. And today I didn’t feel like forcing a smile. Or watching everything that I say. It is a small town. And the filter is not doing too hot right now.

So sitting on a grassy hill overlooking the playground seemed like a great spot to me. I saw one of the dads doing it and I joined in. Thought maybe we’d start a movement. We didn’t. But I was gloriously alone. Plus the dad. Where I was sure to not say anything that I shouldn’t.

Sometimes I miss my filter. Sometimes I wonder if I would say these things anyway. Sometimes I am just happy to use it as an excuse to avoid people.

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4 Comments

Posted by on June 5, 2013 in Life with MS

 

Tags: , ,

4 responses to “Loner

  1. Yvonne Thompson Davis

    June 5, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    I miss my filter. Sometimes when I do interact with my son’s friends parents I go home wishing I would have just kept my mouth shut! How do you explain to normal people what MS does to your “filter”?

     
    • Janet DiFolco

      June 5, 2013 at 7:44 pm

      That is such a good question. I wish I had an answer for it. Because “sorry, there are holes in my brain.” Doesn’t seem to work. 😦

       
  2. meglewellyn

    June 7, 2013 at 8:54 am

    HA, I never had one, but your post made me realize that I could use the MS as an excuse now! Just one more thing I gained from getting the disease, thanks:)

     

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