I am Roman Catholic. I say that very loosely. There are a lot of questions in my mind about spiritual things. There are also a lot of things that I don’t believe that my religion does believe and there are a lot of things that I do believe that my religion doesn’t believe. I finished all of the school and I was baptized and confirmed and married. So as far as the church is concerned I am Roman Catholic.
Not going to talk about the pope now.
In my religion we give something up for Lent. If you don’t already know Lent is when we prepare for the coming of our lord. I don’t capitalize because this is among the long list of things that I don’t believe. I don’t believe that god was a human and died so that we can go to heaven. *Gasp* I know blasphemy. What ever shall we do? This is probably why I’m going to hell. If I believed in hell.
Anyway, we are supposed to give something up in order to get ready for this. It is supposed to be something that we really love. And since I feel that it is good for one’s soul to live through a little deprivation every now and then I abide by this one ritual. Or at least I try. But for me this tends to go the way of New Year’s Resolutions. I lasted just about as long with this as I did with the “I’m going to go to the gym”, or “I’m going to stop cursing in front of the kids”.
I decided that the thing that I love the most, the thing that would be the biggest sacrifice for me would be to give up coffee. I know, what was I thinking? Many people asked me that question. Two people actually got upset because I wouldn’t be able to go out for coffee with them any more.
Unfortunately, I failed to take into account the fact that my body actually needs coffee. It needs it like it needs air. Not just because I love the taste and it gives me energy. I actually need it. Not the caffeine, I can replace that with chocolate. And I do love replacing that with chocolate. But there is something else in it, something that my body just can’t do with out. I believe they call this an addiction. But is an addiction to coffee really a bad thing? I don’t think so.
After 2 weeks of migraines I have made the judgment call to give up. It does feel a little like failing. However, I have decided that the sacrifice is just too great. I do not possess the strength to carry on in this fashion. Siddhartha would be greatly disappointed. And I do hate to disappoint him. But I am so cranky when I have a headache and I get nothing accomplished.
So my glorious cup of black magic is back. And MMMMMM I am a happy camper!