Light bulbs flashing.

13 Nov

Infusion Day! Yeah!

The last thing that I needed this morning was stress. So what happens? I get it thrown at me from all directions. Starting at 7:30 in the morning. My phone rings and it’s my in-laws number. Uh-Oh! My immediate thought is that it is my mother-in-law calling to tell me that she can’t pick Tyler up from school. What the hell am I going to do? Well it was my father-in-law. He was letting me know that he would be picking Tyler up from school. Alright, fine, not the ideal situation, but what can I do? I hate bothering him at work. uhg! Now I’m trying to think of a contingence plan and i realize that i could easily have one but then the in-laws will get mad at me. UHG! Alright don’t stress this is fine. Then the boys start freaking out. Tyler is pissed at me because I’m pulling Noah out of school for the day and not him. So I try to placate him with hot lunch. That didn’t work, he doesn’t like what’s on the menu today. So I finally say, “Hey Tyler how about we switch places, you go to the hospital and have needles stuck in you.and I’ll go to school.” He doesn’t like that idea. And my response of “Then shut up and get in the car.” Probably didn’t help. 😦 Then after dropping him off at school, I think that I am home free, Noah and I are on our way to Freehold. Then I get a call from Rich. “Hey can you go back to the house and hook something up for me?” Ah! “Of course I can”. So back to the house with Noah. Oh and it’s raining and 45 degrees. I do Rich’s computer thing for him and about 20 minutes later I am finally back on the road. Now I am worried about being late. The world is still spinning and now I am also ridiculously tired. The drive from home to the hospital is 45 minutes and is all on one beautiful quiet country road. So it gives me a lot of time to think. Or stew about things that are now pissing me off. Which is what I am doing. Then all of a sudden a zen like calm comes over me. And a light goes on comically over my head. I get it.

It’s all my fault!

No, no. Stop I know what you are thinking. Really though, it is.
Why I keep forgetting this is beside me. You can’t count on anybody but yourself. Why do I keep forgetting this? Not only that, but I hate having to depend on other people. I have this ridiculous need to do everything myself and when I break down and ask for help and the “help” acts like I am inconveniencing them I lose it. Sorry, I believe that that was a run on sentence.
So fine, I turn on the music, Noah stops berating me with math questions and the rest of the drive is peaceful.
Then i get to Freehold and I realize that I forgot my book. I hadn’t put it in my bag last night with everything else b/c I was reading it before I went to bed. Then with the insanity that was my house this morning I forgot it. Which is probably why I am writing you a book right now. Sorry. I meant to borrow a book from my dad when I dropped off Noah, but shockingly I forgot. I was derailed by my brother unexpectedly being at the house. Which was nice, I don’t get to see him often. So spirits lifted I head to Starbucks with my mom. And then Yes! My cute Brit Barista is indeed there. 😦 but he’s grumpy today. Things are just not going my way this morning.
I really need to get a handle on being able to take care of the kids myself. That is the big thing I’m stressing about. That and I’m apparently starving and someone next to me has sausage and peppers. Uhg! Salivating!

I had intended on writing about the election today, but I am now pushing that back again. I now have a list of things that I want to blog about. I hope that I get to them.

I will leave you today with the good thing this morning. There have been two (well I guess three since I got to see Rob, but I already mentioned that).
When I finally made my way to the kitchen this morning to make breakfast for the kids Rich had left me a note wishing me good luck this morning and telling me how much he loves me. That was really nice! Love you too Babe! Then my nurse this morning was super competent! Best Nurse I have had so far! It’s the little things. 🙂

Sent from my iPhone

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Posted by on November 13, 2012 in Life with MS


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