Time off

04 Oct

Ok so I know that this is new to me, but sometimes it is just a little too much. I literally need to take a break. The first time that I did this was right after I was diagnosed. My Neurologist gave me two weeks to do my research and then come back in with all of my questions and choose a drug. Well I took the first week off. I wouldn’t talk to anybody about MS and I tried to forget that I even had it. Which of course when you are in the middle of an attack isn’t the easiest thing to do. However, my brain couldn’t take it anymore. I started to have horrible dark thoughts and didn’t know what to do with them. So I took a week off. Well I am doing that again. Of course I don’t have a full week this time. My first appointment with my shrink is this week. But a couple of days sound good to me. I’m not having the same dark thoughts, just a little bit of fear for the future. I am a planner and having such an uncertain future is terrifying for me. And until Wednesday I don’t really have anybody to talk to about it. Surprisingly the people that you need to talk to about these things, you know husbands, mothers, those sorts of people, can’t handle conversations about your possible degenerative health. Go figure right? So I am going to use a total stranger for that. And hell you never know they may even give me pointers on how to break other people into this topic. Cause let’s face it I’m going to need someone’s help eventually. I understand that this is an avoidance tactic. It probably isn’t the healthiest mental course of action. But so far it is keeping my somewhat sane. So here is to my 2 days off.

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Posted by on October 4, 2010 in Life with MS


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